Easter time has always been seen as a time of renewal, a time to reflect and contemplate who we are and more importantly who we want to be. Thinking of New Beginnings! New Perspective! New Thinking! New Life! New Being! New You!!!!
Let’s first look at how you see yourself now……and why. I want you to imagine you were given a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet yourself. So, tell me……who would you see? Would you see someone who is so afraid of failure that they don’t even give things ago? Or would you see someone who is so courageous and confident that they boldly welcome new changes and challenges without needing to know the outcome or end result? If you were given the chance to meet yourself, how would it make you feel? Would you celebrate all the many things to love about yourself……the things that others see, and accept all your unique ‘flaws’, or would that critical, judgmental voice kick in and magnify every little imperfection
To love and accept ourselves, warts and all, to see and appreciate what others see in us, we must first work on our self-esteem self-worth and self-criticism.
Self-esteem involves our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves. Nurturing positive thoughts and feelings about ourselves is crucial since it hugely influences the choices and decisions that we make on a daily basis. You will not go after or achieve much if you do not believe that you are capable of being successful in the first place. Self-doubt is as self- sabotaging and debilitating as a serious disability, in many cases even more so. There are so many people with serious disabilities that overcome and achieve great things because they have strong self-belief. Like Henry Ford said ‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t……you’re right!’ What you hold in your mind will occur in your life!
So now is the time to start working on changing your thoughts and only thinking about who you really want to be. Because if you think about that person you want to be, or think about that person you know deep down you really are, you will definitely start to ‘BE’ her. I guarantee……you will start to act differently, behave differently and see the world differently.
The first thing that you need to do is abandon any thought that you should be perfect. The reality is that nobody really is. Don’t spend your time daydreaming about the perfect life, the perfect job, the perfect image. Accept that life is not a movie. If at the end of the day, you’ve done your best……then that is good enough!! Accept that we are all on our way. We all have different obstacles to maneuver and we all have different qualities to embrace. The results at that moment may not be perfect, but be proud of yourself, today it is good enough. Enjoy what you’ve learned in order to be better tomorrow. Tell yourself each day “Every day, In Every Way, I Am Getting Better and Better!” Emile Coue.
Focus on your strengths, everyone has something that is great about them and there are lots of things that you are good at, you may not see them as you are not focusing on them. I promise you……when you focus and appreciate and love the things about who you are……who you want to be, will come naturally. Because who you want to be, you already are, it’s just you thinking that you’re not, stops you being it. J May sound like gobbledygook but believe me, it’s true. So take time in the day to appreciate your good qualities. These are usually what we are really passionate about. List them. And if you have trouble with this, ask a good friend, colleague or sister. You see yourself as a rock……they see you as a beautiful crystal cluster. Shut down that negative internal chatter. You don’t have to be good at everything, there’s nothing in life that requires us to be good at everything. Just be good at what you’re good at……focus on that and soon you will see……every day, in every way you’ll get better and better!!!
Also, learn to shut out all the negative outside forces. There will be lots of people who will try surround you with negativity. Misery loves company don’t you know. But don’t play small so they feel comfortable because they refuse to grow. That’s just where they are……not where you want to be. Remember……positivity is a choice, train your mind to see the good in everything. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts! So choose to be positive!
Also remember, your self-worth is what you feel you deserve. You will only get what you feel you deserve. Tell yourself: “I am worthy of the best in life!” It is self-belief that really drives us to go after the best in life and give and expect the best from others. Your self-worth will determine the way you treat yourself and the way you allow others to treat you. Tell yourself: “I am worthy of all that is good and perfect in the world”. Others will treat you at the level you treat yourself. You feel you’re not worthy, they’ll feel you’re not worthy, you feel you’re not good enough, they’ll feel you’re not good enough etc.
I’d like to include here a beautiful explanation by an unknown writer on why discernment over judgment. Judgment is accompanied by a negative emotional reaction……anger, frustration, sadness, annoyance etc. You do not like what you see. You resist what you experience. You would like it to be different. You have expectations that are not satisfied. When that happens, you lose energy. Discerning is seeing yourself or another person or a circumstance as it is. You observe the behavior without a negative response or feeling. You notice jealousy, for example, or anger, greed, or resentment in another without being affected by it. Just as you notice the colour of a flower or the shape of a rock. You do not lose energy. If you think you are discerning, check inside yourself. Do you resist what you see? Do you wish it was different? If so, you will discover that what you are feeling inside is painful. Not a happy feeling. But a painful one. That painful experience is your signal that you are judging. Judgment has an emotional charge to it. Discernment allows you to observe and analyze with your heart, and act accordingly.
By knowing this you will now be aware when you’re judging yourself and this is a no-no. You’re allowed to discern in the process of self-evaluation, so say you discern that you have certain attitudes and behaviors that you can improve on for self-development and transformation, then this is positive. But be mindful of the mind chatter in your head that make up stories that are really untrue. And yes, you might say, well I did do that before but know, that’s in the past, gone……every day we have the opportunity to be a different person.
Whether you have started, almost there, or already achieving your goals, there should never come a time when you do not appreciate what you see in yourself. How can you expect from others what you are not doing for yourself? Believe in yourself! The end result will be a New Life! New Beginnings! New Perspective! New Thinking! New Being! New You!!!!
Are you stuck on a habit that you can’t seem to break? Have you noticed that no matter what you try, you very soon find yourself back at square one? Our lives are made up of loads of habits and patterns and while a lot of our habits and patterns are positive and life-sustaining, some can be very limiting.
Positive habits are those that promote our progress, self-development, and transformation. While any habit that prevents us from moving forward or compromises our physical, emotional or mental health, is a limiting one or a faulty one. It is a habit that is limiting us from being the best we can be. Now is the time to break the cycle and rewrite your script.
But how do we change limiting habits or faulty programs and break old patterns? Well, like most things where we want good sustainable change, it has to be our focus. Any form of meaningful change takes place gradually. Just like getting fit. You don’t expect to go to the gym once and be fit forever, do you? (There are ways to have immediate results, by reprogramming the subconscious mind, using techniques such as PSYCH-K or hypnotherapy etc. but that’s for future blogs)
Before any real work can start, we need to recognize the limiting habits and accept the need for change. So first……critically examine your life. Sort your habits into two piles, good habits, and limiting habits.
Any habit that is positively impacting your life, put in the positive habit pile and give yourself a pat on the back. Really recognize each one as something to admire about yourself. Love yourself for! And then, any habit that you can see your life going better without, should automatically land in the limiting habit pile. This will require some deep soul searching and honesty on your part. Some of our limiting habits or faulty programs are so deep in the subconscious mind that we are not consciously aware of them. One thing it’s important to understand here is, that these patterns were originally started with good intent, to positively serve us at that time, or to keep us safe (which is the subconscious mind’s principle job). Even habits such as smoking we would have started with a good reason at the time, such as……to ‘impress’, to ‘manage stress’, ‘to be liked by our peers’ etc. But the way the subconscious mind works is once a pattern has been programmed, it will continuously run that program on a subconscious level until we reprogram it. So we are all running many programs on a subconscious level that no longer benefit us, but continue because we haven’t changed them.
So that said, the first step to change is awareness. Being aware what triggers the limiting habit/faulty program. Examine your feelings/emotions at the exact time the limiting habit is triggered. If you are feeling sadness, let go of that sadness. If you are feeling anger, let go of that anger etc. Don’t resist the emotion! Most of us were programmed to stop emotion. We were told and maybe still are told, ‘don’t cry’ ‘don’t get upset’ ‘don’t be sad’ ‘don’t get angry’ etc. and that has led to pushing down our emotions, trying to ignore them, refusing to feel them or acknowledge them. This causes us to deny our feelings, even feel guilty and ashamed of them. But remember: These negative emotions subconsciously trigger the limiting habit/faulty program. And all that we resist, persists!
The moment you become aware of a negative emotion, follow these steps:
- Sit in a comfortable position, feet on the floor, spine straight, hands resting comfortably in your lap
- Just Witness/Watch the emotion
- Breathe into the feeling of discomfort (the sadness, anger etc.)
- Really feel the feeling and repeat to yourself ‘I allow myself to feel this emotion’………Deep breaths
- Repeat to yourself ‘I forgive this emotion’………Deep breaths
- Repeat to yourself ‘I transform and release this emotion’…….. Deep breaths
Remember, our habits can’t be changed when we’re focusing our thoughts on what we don’t want. We need to focus on what we do want.
It is all about mindset. We hear this word a lot. Our mindset is……’our general attitude or the way we typically think about something’. Life as we would like it, rarely just happens, we have to make it happen with positive thinking and a positive attitude and positive habits. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself what you want instead. Our power lies in what we put our attention on. The process of leaving a limiting habit behind can start with just a thought. Say to yourself, “I release the need for this habit in my life.” Just make up your mind. Set your mind! Visualize the change you want to see…..see it in your mind’s eyes.
Read my blog to further understand the subconscious mind http://feelfreelifecoaching.co.uk/important-conscious-subconscious-mind/
Most of us are totally unaware that we are always using Affirmations…….there just not the ones that lead us to how we want our lives to be. Some examples of affirmations we constantly use could be:
“I look awful”
“They don’t like me”
“I am so stupid”
“I’m too old now”
“I’ll always be in debt”
“Diabetes is in my family, I know I’ll get it”
“I could never do that”
“I am never going to meet someone I can love”
“No matter what I do, I can never catch a break”
Thoughts like these are constantly racing through our minds, mostly without us realising it, this is because they are generated by our subconscious beliefs. Our beliefs come from our past experiences and they drive our behaviours and attitudes. Our beliefs form our perception of the world and determine our reality. That’s why it is said, ‘You see the world NOT as it is, but as YOU are” Because we all see the world differently according to our beliefs.
So, what’s this to do with affirmations I hear you ask? Well, that’s simple, because a belief is only a thought that we keep thinking. Our thoughts reaffirm our beliefs! Now the reason why this is so powerful to know is, that beliefs affect virtually every area of our lives and they define us. They affect our self-worth……am I worthy or worthless? They affect our relationships……am I lovable or unlovable? What do your beliefs say about having lots of money? Do you believe you have to work hard for it? Do you believe people who have lots of money are greedy? Do you believe having lots of money means there’s less for everyone else? What are your beliefs about your career/work? Do you believe yourself to be a competent or incompetent person? Do you feel worthy of success or do you feel you’ll always be stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfil you?
It was the great Dr Wayne Dyer who wrote: “Change your thoughts, Change your life!” So……if a belief is only a thought that we keep thinking and we change our thoughts, we can potentially change our beliefs and therefore our perceptions, we can change the way we look at things. By changing our thought patterns, we will change our experience. So if we want to have happy experiences, we must think happy thoughts.
This is why affirmations can be so powerful! The daily use of positive affirmations interrupts and can ultimately totally replace our negative thoughts and beliefs.
We can change our negative thoughts and Images, by blasting our subconscious mind with new positive thoughts and images of how we want things to be.
“I look lovely”
“I am loving and loveable”
“I am smart, I know a lot”
“I always have more than enough money to meet my needs”
“I have the power to control my health”
“I can do and be whatever I imagine I can”
“I attract a mutually loving relationship now”
“I am easily successful at whatever I do”
So most people’s response to this is, ‘how can I think positively when in reality I am in debt, I am sick, I can’t find the right partner, or my job is terrible’ and it’s true! It is hard to think positive when you’re in the midst of a challenge. But positive affirmations really do work, and ask yourself…..what do you have to lose?
Now there are a few key points to getting a positive affirmation to work, firstly, of course, it has to be positive. It has to be personal, you can’t say them because of someone, or for someone or on behalf of someone. Also, it has to be in the present tense, not the future tense. In other words, not ‘I will have’ as then it will stay in the future, but ‘I have’ as if it has already been achieved. This is because, unlike the conscious mind, the subconscious mind doesn’t know past and future, it only knows the present moment and it responds well to repetition and being told. So when you repeatedly affirm “I prosper in everything I do” you create a new belief. Another important point is you must state what you DO want, not what you DON’T want. For example, “I am healed, restored and filled with energy” rather than “I’m no longer sick” or “I now have all the money I want and need” rather than “I am not in debt” Remember what you focus on is what you get. Affirmations hold a key to unlocking The Law of Attraction (which we’ll go more into detail about in another blog) and creating a life you really enjoy living in all ways.
Your affirmations must generate a positive, energetic feeling! Use positive words such as, excited, fantastic, wonderful, awesome, super, great, joyful etc.
When you attach the affirmation to a positive feeling, the belief in it manifests faster. So put lots of happy energy into it. Sing your affirmations with enthusiasm, make them into a rhyme, dance them with joy, stand in front of the mirror and smile and laugh while you repeat them.
Daily positive affirmations help remove negative thoughts and limiting beliefs and transform your limited life to one where anything is possible. It changes you ‘I cant’s to ‘I cans’, fears to courage, doubts to certainty, self-doubt to self-assured.
One last thing I’ll say about affirmations is as you positively repeat them with a joyful energy you should act in a way as if it’s true! Now the action can be real or imagined, as the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference. So if you affirm “I live a vibrant and healthy life”, take action towards that. For instance, set a goal to walk to the shops instead of catching the bus, replace one unhealthy food in your diet with a healthy alternative, take a dance class etc. And use your imagination!! See yourself looking vibrant and healthy, see yourself running for that bus, how you look in those jeans, feeling sexy etc.
I would love you to share your thoughts and affirmations with me, contact me anytime at
Do you know what is blocking you living your full potential, in all areas of your life? Ok……..we ALL see the world differently! Yes, every single human being is interpreting the world differently! Just like our finger prints and the iris of our eyes are totally unique to us, so are our perceptions and reality. This is because the power behind our perceptions and our reality is our thoughts and beliefs, our reality is created by the beliefs stored in our subconscious mind. Our beliefs are like our own unique filters through which we view the world. And our subconscious mind automatically controls 95% (more than less) of our reality, thereby shaping our perceptions, our behaviours, our values and our attitudes, even our biological reality. And, it does this without us being consciously aware of it. Let me say that again. It does this without us being consciously aware of it. It’s like the subconscious mind just records everything and stores it. Like a programme that downloads everything and then continues to play it in the back ground, on a loop.
So, a few things about the subconscious mind, it likes habit, which is great when it comes to monitoring our heart function, breathing, digestive system, body movements etc. This is vital so we don’t have to constantly relearn these things. From the day we are born, the subconscious mind starts storing millions of learnt behaviours. For example, we learn to walk, once we’ve learnt to walk we don’t have to relearn it the next day because the subconscious mind has stored it and will automatically control it from there, without us consciously ever having to think about it.
Also, the subconscious mind likes the familiar, it likes to play safe and keep us safe. It stores all our past experiences, attitudes, values and beliefs, and stores every event, occurrence, emotion or circumstance from before we were born, and if you believe, even from previous lifetimes. It’s like our own personal Google system that averages up to 40 million bits of information per second compared to just 2000 bits of information per second of the conscious mind.
So, that’s a lot of information stored, and it primarily develops between birth to ages 6 or 7, because at this time our minds are like sponges with no filter, it downloads everything objectively. So, it stores lots of information that other people, like parents, siblings, teachers and books, religion and lots of other past programmes pass on to us and they become our Beliefs, and these Beliefs then run as our default program.
The subconscious mind will always gravitate to what it knows, not what is best for you. So…..imagine you ‘Google’ your subconscious mind for ‘I want more money’ ‘I want to be loved’ ‘I want perfect health’ but there are contradicting beliefs playing on that loop, in the background, that you are not consciously aware of. Beliefs like “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” or “You have to work hard for a living” or “I’m not good enough” or “I will suffer this illness, because my parents suffered this illness”. These are what we call ‘limiting beliefs’ because they are not true but our subconscious mind believes them to be true.
Based on this programming and combined with the Universal Law of Vibration, that states that everything is Energy and we are like tuning forks, and through the Energy signals we put out, (from the beliefs of our subconscious mind) we align with people, events and circumstances that are then “attracted” into our lives (Like attracts Like) all without our conscious awareness. We are mostly totally unaware of our limiting beliefs as they are playing in the background in our subconscious mind, but they are affecting every area of our lives from our self-esteem to relationships, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, our wealth, our career and our happiness. So let’s look at an example of how our subconscious mind automatically controls our behaviour.
When Jane was very young she overheard her teacher saying “No, don’t choose Jane to read her poem, she’s not confident and will not be able to speak in front of so many people”. This formed a limiting belief, a false assumption in Jane’s mind that controlled her behaviour and every time she found herself in a situation in the context of public speaking it triggered emotional reactions of distress, anxiety, unworthiness etc. Imagine your ‘triggers‘ being like clicking on an emoji that automatically brings that emotion out, and it is felt as real as the emotion attached to that past experience. You see, our subconscious mind’s job is to keep us ‘safe’ and because it’s never been re-programmed, even when Jane has grown up and is capable of speaking in public and consciously wants to do so, but through the filter of her limiting belief of not being confident or worthy enough, she ends up self–sabotaging any attempts she makes.
It’s the same with habits that we consciously would like to stop or control but we end up finding ourselves doing it again and again and then even more!!! Like smoking, or drinking or eating foods that are no good for us, attracting the wrong partners etc. Subconscious habits are self-reinforcing patterns or cycles of our Beliefs and Perceptions.
So it goes……your experience shapes your perception, your perception creates a belief, your belief reinforces your perception, your perception shapes your experience, your experience reinforces your belief. You with me? Ok…….let’s take an example: You’re feeling in a low mood, you experience eating ice cream, your perception is it tastes good, your belief is, it makes you feel emotionally good, making you feel emotionally good reinforces that the ice cream tastes good, it tastes good shapes your experience of eating ice cream, which reinforces the belief it makes you feel emotionally good and BAM!!! Habit has been formed! Every time you feel low you eat ice cream, you can’t help it or stop it.
So the conscious mind says “I need to stop over eating ice-cream, it’s making me put on weight, all this sugar is no good for me” but the subconscious mind believes “Ice-cream makes me feel emotionally good” reinforcing the habit. And even with all our will power and determination, the subconscious mind wins, unless we change this belief and replace it with something we want instead like “I am free from emotional eating” or “I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily” etc. If the subconscious mind is not aligned with our conscious goals, we can feel like forever on a piece of elastic, pushing forward with our goals and springing right back again to our limiting habits. The Subconscious only thinks in the present and doesn’t know past or future, or the difference between what is real and what is imagined, but it never questions what you tell it. So when trying to accomplish goals in your conscious mind it takes time to attain them, but you can easily and quickly programme your Subconscious into believing you have attained them NOW.
So what is the easy and quick answer to transforming our lives or aspects of our lives and achieve lasting changes? We must first recognize and identify what our limiting beliefs/false assumptions are and then change them for positive, healthy ones we want instead.
Through PSYCH-K® we can find out what our subconscious mind believes and change these beliefs to what we want instead. This is done by using the muscle testing technique to discover whether or not our subconscious mind is on board with our conscious wishes. This is used combined with a series of different processes called Balances. These Balances bring the mind into what is called a Whole-Brained State. This is when the right and left hemispheres of our brain communicate in a whole, balanced way, when you feel clear, grounded, centred. This is what Rob Williams the Founder of PSYCH-K® says about what PSYCH-K® is:
- It’s a non-invasive, interactive process of change with a proven record of success for over 25 years!
- It’s a simple, yet powerful process to change subconscious beliefs that are self-limiting and self-sabotaging
- It’s a unique blend of various tools for change, some contemporary and some ancient, derived from contemporary neuroscience research, as well as ancient mind/body wisdom
- It’s a ground breaking approach to facilitating change at the subconscious level where at least 95% of our consciousness operates.
- It’s a process that transcends the standard methods of visualization, affirmations, will power, and positive thinking especially effective in the areas of behavioural / habit change, wellness and stress reduction
Disclaimer: The PSYCH-K® process is strictly limited to the modification of beliefs. The PSYCH-K® process is not designed to diagnose medical problems, nor is it a replacement for medical attention or professional mental health care.
For further information please go to:
Just Right Click the Link Below!
Here’s the good news. You’re not alone. There are many thousands who have walked this very path and have managed to successfully find themselves through their storms, by simply realising their self-worth. Yes……You have a powerful worth! You are like a pricey diamond waiting to be dusted and polished; an exquisite butterfly longing to emerge from your cocoon. Behind those layers of limiting beliefs lies a rare masterpiece with a hunger to find herself and make a positive difference in the world. However, for this to be done you must first rearrange your thinking, accept your uniqueness, forgive yourself, find your passion, and create a plan.
It was Dr. David J. Abbott who rightly said, “The mind is the door through which I enter the world of positive change… Positive transformation isn’t an accident; it’s something I do on purpose. I become a positive person by putting positive things into my mind.” It, therefore, means that the very first step needed to drastically elevate your self-worth is to totally abandon any thought of I’m not good enough, ‘I can’t, ‘I don’t know how’ and make a habit out of thinking that you are worthy and deserving of all that is marvellous in this world. As the late Wayne Dyer said “Self-Worth comes from one thing…………thinking you are Worthy”
After accepting that it is your thoughts and beliefs that are creating your limits and you can change them, you now need to find the courage to be authentic, to live your truth, by acknowledging that it is your uniqueness that really makes you special. Why should you feel the need to explain or alter the way you look, think, and feel to fit into other peoples beliefs and perceptions of how it should be? You are in a unique class of your own and as such you were not created to be a photocopy of anybody. Your personality makes you special. Your size makes you special. Your shape makes you special. Your ideas make you special. Your talents make you special. The way you do what you do is what is beautiful about you. You are who you are: unmatched, incomparable and totally different!
Even after changing your thinking and accepting your differences, you cannot fully blossom into who you were truly meant to be, without forgiving yourself. The reality is that no one is perfect. We all have flaws, some more than others. The way I see it, we have two choices. We can either wallow in our guilt and shame or learn from our past mistakes and move on. I choose the latter, what about you? Forgive yourself for the wrong you’ve done to others, forgive others for all they’ve done to you, but mostly, forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could with the awareness you had at the time. They’re not mistakes, they’re life lessons.
Now that you have made peace with your past, you are well on your way to a well-deserved bright and glorious future. You must now think about what that dream life would look like. What’s the thing that makes you excited. The thing that pushes you, the thing you really enjoy doing, the thing that lights you up with joy, makes you bubble up inside and sparks the fire in your heart. What’s your real passion!
So, let’s see, Positive thinking, Check! Self-Forgiveness, Check! Passion, check! It is now time to create a plan. This is a crucial step if you are to meet that place of true self-love, self-fulfilment and self-worth. Set your plan and use it as a guide, take baby steps towards realising your dream and doing what you are most passionate about. Revisit your plan from time to time to ensure that you are on course, but most of all, be flexible, don’t limit yourself by expecting it to go a certain way, be open to other pathways showing up that lead to your goals, but in a different way, a better way, a more creative way.
You cannot be the best you can be for others, even those you love, without first being the best that you can be for yourself. Truly loving others requires you to truly love yourself first. Regardless of where you are now, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, go to your mirror and profess your true love for yourself. You are rare and exceptional. Don’t let anybody make you feel otherwise. Strike that superwoman pose and DO YOU!! Because you’re beautiful and deserving